Keep Your Life Vital

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Exiting Love's Perpetual Tug-of-War

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Exiting Love's Perpetual Tug-of-War

In seeking love, we engage in a never-ending tug-of-war with ourselves that dramatically colors our connection to our partner. On one hand, we take actions that we hope will make permanent (as in, "lived happily ever after") our connection to the “other” (spouse, partner, lover, or friend). We act from the barely conscious belief that “if only” we make the right choices we will achieve our romantic/intimate ideal. On the other hand, we are haunted by the dim awareness that no matter what we do, our efforts will ultimately end in separation from that ideal partner. They'll disappoint us, leave us, or we'll end up leaving them. (In this blog, I’ll use partner to refer to our intimate other, regardless of the form of the connection.) Read on to learn to build better connections. 

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Are We Coming or Going? And, What Decides?

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We’ve all heard the phrase, “I don’t know if I’m coming or going.” I’ve certainly thought that, and felt it, too. It is an experience of (hopefully) temporary confusion and internal conflict. For me, it is often reflected in a moment when I feel pulled in two directions making it a personal struggle to decide what to do next. While this feeling can arise when I’m simply tired and “brain drained,” operating in a sort of mental fog, I can also experience this mental tug-of-war when there are compelling reasons for two equal but opposing options and I can’t for the life of me figure out which is best. Read on to learn to reduce this confusion by exercising BOTH sides of your brain...

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Timeless Medicine for Waking Up to Life's Possibilities

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Children seem to have no trouble being wide “awake to life.” Neither do puppies for whom every walk involves unbounded enthusiasm and sheer ecstasy at the wonder of it all. The boundless joyfulness and inquisitiveness they show is inborn. It is a natural endowment for being born into this world. Where does that sense of wonder and awe go with time’s passing? Is it recoverable? What is the path by which we can recover it? Read on to learn the steps to "wake up" your brain and reinvigorate your life. 

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Why PAUSING Ignites a Revolution to Develop Your Evolutionary Health

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Modern medicine has brought us revolutionary advances that support better health. But, is the health that modern medicine supports what we mean by true healing? I think not. True healing is not just revolutionary but actually evolutionary. Over millions of years, we have gradually evolved to become self-organizing creatures capable of self-correcting and self-healing in the face of the vast majority of problems that beset us.

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The Care & Feeding of a Human Soul

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What is the recipe for living a full and fulfilling human life? What are the essential ingredients? Can they be mixed together quickly or does the recipe require slow cooking? These questions actually have science-based answers that align well with ancient wisdom. The real conundrum is why, when the “answers” are at hand, do relatively few people take full advantage of them and adjust their lives accordingly.

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How Holiday Cheer Can Bring Joy to the World

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December. Winter break. Kids on vacation. Time off work. The Holiday Season. Christmas and Hannukah, which this year begin on the same day, reminding us, if we choose to remember, that an invitation to rededicate ourselves and renew our world is upon us. The Winter Solstice. Lights, smiles, fireplaces and burning logs, get-togethers, hugs and laughter. For many, lots of joy. For others, bittersweet memories, unfulfilled dreams and unsatisfied wishes, maybe even loneliness or melancholy. And, of course, there is counting off yet another year of a finite but unknowable number. The ledger is longer, fuller but still not complete.

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Time Flies, But Meaning is Eternal

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Sean Carroll*, a physicist who explores the universe said, “Life is not a substance, like water or rock; it’s a process, like fire or a wave crashing on the shore. It’s a process that begins, lasts for a while, and ultimately ends. Long or short, our moments are brief against the expanse of eternity.” How does this strike you? Does this view leave you feeling small or even frightened by our insignificance in the vastness of the universe? If our lives are just a fleeting process, how can we make the process as meaningful and fulfilling as possible? How can we make our mortal time here matter and make a lasting impact?

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Does Scheduling Activities Ruin the Fun?

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A recent study (http://bit.ly/ClocksAndFun) argues that when leisure activities are scheduled, people report them as being less enjoyable than when such activities take place in the spur of the moment. This makes sense, but only up to a point. After all, who doesn't like spontaneity? Dopamine and anticipated pleasure seem to matter more. 

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Resilience is Necessary, but not Sufficient

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Much has been written about resilience. Who wouldn’t want to be more resilient if it means being able to bounce back and pick ourselves up after our setbacks in life? With the inevitability of challenges, losses and suffering in life, the capacity to show resilience is clearly important. Knowing that there are well-established practices that strengthen our resilience skills is comforting. But, is being resilient “enough?”