Connections

Relationally Yours...

I just submitted an essay I was asked to write for a professional journal that explores the relevance of the therapeutic relationship to the practice of psychotherapy. The article's research reinforces what you would suspect: more than any other single variable, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is what most determines treatment outcomes. But, the article reveals even more about relationships and health. Read on to learn more.

Exiting Love's Perpetual Tug-of-War

Exiting Love's Perpetual Tug-of-War

In seeking love, we engage in a never-ending tug-of-war with ourselves that dramatically colors our connection to our partner. On one hand, we take actions that we hope will make permanent (as in, "lived happily ever after") our connection to the “other” (spouse, partner, lover, or friend). We act from the barely conscious belief that “if only” we make the right choices we will achieve our romantic/intimate ideal. On the other hand, we are haunted by the dim awareness that no matter what we do, our efforts will ultimately end in separation from that ideal partner. They'll disappoint us, leave us, or we'll end up leaving them. (In this blog, I’ll use partner to refer to our intimate other, regardless of the form of the connection.) Read on to learn to build better connections. 

Does Getting "Hot" Make Stronger Connections?

Does Getting "Hot" Make Stronger Connections?

Why do we say we “feel warm” toward someone to whom we feel close and are attracted? What is the link between physical temperature and the allure and strength of our attraction toward someone? Why do we describe someone who doesn’t greet us in a friendly way as giving us a “cold reception” or the “cold shoulder” when we are ignored? Is there really a connection between having “warm-hearted feelings” and physical temperature? Read more to learn what science says and what you can do to get closer...