Relationally Yours...

I just submitted an essay I was asked to write for a professional journal that explores the relevance of the therapeutic relationship to the practice of psychotherapy. The article's research reinforces what you would suspect: more than any other single variable, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is what most determines treatment outcomes. But, the article reveals even more about relationships and health. Read on to learn more.

Endings and Beginnings

For millennia, the world’s great wisdom traditions have taught about two seemingly contradictory truths: life is fleeting, so don’t waste time. Make every moment count. They have also taught that life is precious and to be enjoyed, so don’t get too bogged down in the details. Things are rarely as important as they might appear in the long run. If you find yourself stuck at one end of this continuum or the other, read on.

Taming Our Urgent Striving Yields Better Results For All

I have found that many clients greet the end of the year with a keen focus on where they believe they fell short this past year. And, as they face the New Year, they promise to double down, try even harder, and seek to make up for perceived “lost time,” as though we can ever regain what is already done and behind us. What can nature teach us about taming our urgent striving to “get ahead” and “make up for lost time” that ultimately puts us further behind? Read on…

The Gift of Authenticity

For so many, the period between Thanksgiving and New Years is fraught with challenges as families get together (or don’t) and old scores, unmet needs, unacknowledged concerns, simmering grievances, and cosmic clashes detract not only from the spirit of this time of year but from the ability of families and the individuals who comprise them to find a path to peace. For some simple but powerful ideas to guide you though this season, read on.

Traveling at the Speed of Mind

When we feel stressed, over-extended, anxious, worried, running behind, short on time, or any of a thousand other variations of this all-too-common feature of our harried days, it is so natural to assume that the world “out there” is the source of our distress. Too much to do and too little time in which to get it all done. Learn more about how to quiet and calm your mind, while gaining control and comfort in your life.

Why 10 + 9 Builds a Resilient Brain & a Beautiful Life

I recently gave a talk to a group of university alumni seeking to discover how to prepare for and enter their “post-career lives.” The lecture focused on ten faculties that reside in our brains throughout our lives. The faculties position us to make the most of our days at every stage of our lives – when we actively exercise them. that is. Otherwise, there they sit: an untapped potential that's never given the chance to transform our lives for the better. I also discussed nine life skills that serve as the bridge over which we cross from potential into action. Skills transform possibility into lived reality. Skills are the means through which we exercise our brain’s potential. Read on to learn the building blocks for a better life. 

Why Resilience Requires Failing

Do you want to be described as resilient? Most people do. Resilient people are “winners,” it seems. They are people who can take what life dishes out and respond in ways that make them, wiser, stronger, more compassionate and loving, and able to live life to the fullest no matter what. There is certainly value to wisdom, strength, compassion, love, and tenacity. But, I find that resilience, from a neurobiological view, involves something different. Read on to learn about "neuro-resilience," and how pain and failure are necessary life experiences for developing it.

Thank you, Charles Darwin

Diversity, it seems, is hardwired into Mother Nature’s plans. But, what role does diversity play in supporting intimate relationship health? This blog explores the role diversity plays in our bodies, our social communities, and ultimately in our intimate lives. Read on to learn more. 

Why I Mistrust Routines

In this blog, I explore the value and limitations of living with unexamined routines. I ask, "Why, then, if routines are so central to conducting our daily lives effectively, do I so mistrust them?Routines are subtly and powerfully seductive. Sometimes their seductive power leads to misery." Read more to discover an important practice for breaking out of stale and confining habits.