Why are Relationship Struggles so Common and so Challenging

Excuse me for being a bit skeptical about relationship therapies. Given that I work with many couples of all shapes, sizes, and ages, that may be surprising, or even confusing….Aren’t there some basic, common sense, and proven truths about what creates relationship struggles and challenges and what can be done to help you to get back on track toward a more satisfying, rewarding, and fulfilling relationship? Thankfully, the answer is yes.

Awash in Neuro-Chemical Data and Still Uncertain What You Want or Need?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the “recipe” for loving relationships could be distilled into just a few words? The complexity of individual and interpersonal needs that intersect in our relationships prevents any simplistic, one-size-fits-all solution. But, there are several timeless skills that appear over and over as essential to cultivating strong, loving, and lasting relationships. In this post, I connect the brain’s functioning to relationship health. I hope you enjoy it!

A Single Step to Whole Health

Are you interested in one step you can take that requires only time and consistency to obtain a cascade of benefits affecting your mental well-being, your heart, immune function, brain health, and the rate of cell aging? Read on…

Relationally Yours...

I just submitted an essay I was asked to write for a professional journal that explores the relevance of the therapeutic relationship to the practice of psychotherapy. The article's research reinforces what you would suspect: more than any other single variable, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is what most determines treatment outcomes. But, the article reveals even more about relationships and health. Read on to learn more.

Endings and Beginnings

For millennia, the world’s great wisdom traditions have taught about two seemingly contradictory truths: life is fleeting, so don’t waste time. Make every moment count. They have also taught that life is precious and to be enjoyed, so don’t get too bogged down in the details. Things are rarely as important as they might appear in the long run. If you find yourself stuck at one end of this continuum or the other, read on.

Taming Our Urgent Striving Yields Better Results For All

I have found that many clients greet the end of the year with a keen focus on where they believe they fell short this past year. And, as they face the New Year, they promise to double down, try even harder, and seek to make up for perceived “lost time,” as though we can ever regain what is already done and behind us. What can nature teach us about taming our urgent striving to “get ahead” and “make up for lost time” that ultimately puts us further behind? Read on…

The Gift of Authenticity

For so many, the period between Thanksgiving and New Years is fraught with challenges as families get together (or don’t) and old scores, unmet needs, unacknowledged concerns, simmering grievances, and cosmic clashes detract not only from the spirit of this time of year but from the ability of families and the individuals who comprise them to find a path to peace. For some simple but powerful ideas to guide you though this season, read on.

Traveling at the Speed of Mind

When we feel stressed, over-extended, anxious, worried, running behind, short on time, or any of a thousand other variations of this all-too-common feature of our harried days, it is so natural to assume that the world “out there” is the source of our distress. Too much to do and too little time in which to get it all done. Learn more about how to quiet and calm your mind, while gaining control and comfort in your life.

Why 10 + 9 Builds a Resilient Brain & a Beautiful Life

I recently gave a talk to a group of university alumni seeking to discover how to prepare for and enter their “post-career lives.” The lecture focused on ten faculties that reside in our brains throughout our lives. The faculties position us to make the most of our days at every stage of our lives – when we actively exercise them. that is. Otherwise, there they sit: an untapped potential that's never given the chance to transform our lives for the better. I also discussed nine life skills that serve as the bridge over which we cross from potential into action. Skills transform possibility into lived reality. Skills are the means through which we exercise our brain’s potential. Read on to learn the building blocks for a better life.