These are anxious times. Anxiety takes many forms. For some, anxiety can appear as a vague, gnawing, clawing discomfort that rises up from deep in our guts. It can feel as though it is pulling us into a bottomless pit, that will swallow us whole, or that we are powerless to escape it. How many of you are experiencing such a feeling these days and wonder what to do?
Turning a Time of Anxiety into a Time of Connection
William James said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” In this post, I offer several practical and accessible steps you can take to choose helpful thoughts over distressing ones, self-soothing actions over agitating ones, and re-asurring and reconnecting paths over isolating and desparing ones. Enjoy and stay in touch.
Lassoing Happiness
If I had to identify the one common denominator that every client I have ever seen brings to their sessions with me over the past 30 years of practice, it would be their unhappiness. That unhappiness comes in many forms and sizes. But one way or another, it is always there. To create your personal happiness plan, read on.
The Imperfection of Perfectionism
“I should have done better.” “I’m ugly (…or fat, or stupid, or unsuccessful, or undeserving, or unpopular or unworthy, or…).” “This isn’t good enough. I’ll never be good enough.” “I promise I’ll do better next time.” “Everything seems to come more easily for everyone else. I just can’t get it right.”
Do these thoughts sound familiar? They should. They are all forms of a rapidly exploding belief system that has more than doubled among people young and old in the U. S. in the past 20-years. They are all forms of unattainable perfectionism.
Why are Relationship Struggles so Common and so Challenging
Excuse me for being a bit skeptical about relationship therapies. Given that I work with many couples of all shapes, sizes, and ages, that may be surprising, or even confusing….Aren’t there some basic, common sense, and proven truths about what creates relationship struggles and challenges and what can be done to help you to get back on track toward a more satisfying, rewarding, and fulfilling relationship? Thankfully, the answer is yes.
Awash in Neuro-Chemical Data and Still Uncertain What You Want or Need?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the “recipe” for loving relationships could be distilled into just a few words? The complexity of individual and interpersonal needs that intersect in our relationships prevents any simplistic, one-size-fits-all solution. But, there are several timeless skills that appear over and over as essential to cultivating strong, loving, and lasting relationships. In this post, I connect the brain’s functioning to relationship health. I hope you enjoy it!
A Single Step to Whole Health
Relationally Yours...
I just submitted an essay I was asked to write for a professional journal that explores the relevance of the therapeutic relationship to the practice of psychotherapy. The article's research reinforces what you would suspect: more than any other single variable, the quality of the therapeutic relationship is what most determines treatment outcomes. But, the article reveals even more about relationships and health. Read on to learn more.
Endings and Beginnings
For millennia, the world’s great wisdom traditions have taught about two seemingly contradictory truths: life is fleeting, so don’t waste time. Make every moment count. They have also taught that life is precious and to be enjoyed, so don’t get too bogged down in the details. Things are rarely as important as they might appear in the long run. If you find yourself stuck at one end of this continuum or the other, read on.
Taming Our Urgent Striving Yields Better Results For All
I have found that many clients greet the end of the year with a keen focus on where they believe they fell short this past year. And, as they face the New Year, they promise to double down, try even harder, and seek to make up for perceived “lost time,” as though we can ever regain what is already done and behind us. What can nature teach us about taming our urgent striving to “get ahead” and “make up for lost time” that ultimately puts us further behind? Read on…